So you want to start working out?

I know we’re almost into the third month of the year, how’s your resolutions stacking up? Are you hitting the gym? What?! Not yet!?! You want to start but you’re scared/too lazy/don’t know how to? Here, let me help.

Make a Schedule – It’s really easy to say you’re going to do something and not do it BUT if you write it in your planner your tune may change. I always like to keep a to-do list everyday. Some of the tasks I know I’m going to do no matter what — like “gym” but hey it always does feel really nice crossing something off a list. Especially because some of the other tasks may be more difficult/may not get crossed off. Write it in your schedule, plan to go after/before work or at lunch like me.

Take Classes – I know the gym can be pretty intimidating. When I first started going I would go with my brother which made it really easy because working out with another person is so fun and less stressful. But then I moved out here and had to start working out solo. As a girl it can be extra difficult doing weights and such because dudes usually take those areas over and even though now I’m pretty comfortable with working out with a bunch of meathead guys, if you’re just dipping your toes in you don’t want to be scared off. I got back into the swing of things  by taking classes. There are plenty of classes for nearly anything — weight training? Take body pump. Cardio? Oh man so many like cycling and zumba. Also working out with a group of people motivates you and pushes you to keep going. I’ve noticed when I work out solo I kind of slack because nobody is watching me, and although nobody is watching you in the class either you still have that idea that you have to keep up with everyone and that pushes you to work out harder.

Research – Starting to work out can also be overwhelming. I mean you have so many body parts and muscles and there is so much equipment and exercise routines — where do you start? Maybe figure out what you want to work on first. First figure out what exactly or why exactly you’re working out — health? lose weight? competition? all of the above? — and then narrow it down by body part. Since you already have a schedule thanks to listening to my first suggestion, just split up what you want to do one what day. Maybe Monday you’ll do legs, Tuesday arms, Wednesday back, etc. Research some exercise routines so you know exactly where to go at the gym.

What is it that they say? If you do this more than three times you develop a habit? Just push yourself to go to the gym three times, then once you’ve done that do three more days, then three more. Soon it’ll be as automatic and common as brushing your teeth.

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How to not be sad in a sad world.

I know times are tough. I know the election didn’t really pan out the right way and so many people are scared and sad. I know that social media nowadays is a downer and people are starting fights left and right. I know there are so many important issues that shouldn’t be ignored and that’s why social media is sad and angry. But there are ways you can stick up for your cause and what you believe in without getting sad, or at least not let the bad guy win and make you feel awful but fight it. Kill them with kindness is what they say right?

  1. Fight On – Why not turn your sadness into anger or into motivation to proverbially kick the bad guy’s ass? With the constant bad and bad news comes more and more protests. More fighting for what you believe in. Seriously check your Facebook events to see where there is a protest near you. There were many this past week at airports because of the Muslim Ban. If you still can’t find any protests write and call and write and call. You can even fax your representatives and senators on your phone for free here: Representatives: https://faxzero.com/fax_congress.php Senators: https://faxzero.com/fax_senate.php And here’s a way you can call them: https://www.niacaction.org/call-congress-stop-discrimination-based-on-national-origin-religious-beliefs/ Don’t be down, GET EVEN, FIGHT!
  2. Get Away – It’s extremely important to fight for your rights but sometimes it’s just a lot too deal with. Sometimes it’s best to distract yourself and get away for a little bit. Take a little vacation. I just went to Mexico for a week and it was great. But you don’t have to plan a big vacation like that, just take a weekend trip somewhere, or even just have a staycation and veg out on some movies but DON’T use any social media. Sometimes it’s great to give your mind a break from all the stresses going on in the world. Whether you’re exploring another country or a new book, it’ll be worth it just to relax for a little.
  3. Spend Time with People that Matter and Ones that WON’T ARGUE WITH YOU– Friends and family are THE most important right now but make sure they’re the right ones. I love my parents  very much but I cannot really talk to them much right now because they don’t really understand what’s going on right now. My mom voted for Hillary but my dad did not vote. My mom only voted for Hillary because I yelled at her to. When I tried to explain the Muslim Ban and green cards she asked “why don’t they just get citizenships?” as if it’s that easy. It’s tough time right now but just hang out with friends and people that know you and agree with your opinion of what’s going on. You guys probably won’t talk about it, you guys may just joke around during drinks, but at least you’re on the same side. At least there’s not that lingering of “I like you but you don’t understand/don’t agree” in the air. Just try to have fun, it’s still possible even for just a night. Go dancing! Karaoke! Or bowling! Just something that’ll distract you.
  4. Exercise – I know you might think this is a silly suggestion but it truly does work. Listen to a podcast — not a serious one! Or some great music like Nicki Minaj and go for a run. It’ll distract you for a little bit, maybe even amp you up, and you’ll feel good after. Exercise releases endorphins which help for depressing times like these. Plus you’ll get in shape, too!

Those are just some options you can do. What are some activities you like to do to distract you or activities that make you happy when you’re feeling down because of current events or even personal events for you?

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END OF YEAR SURVEY!

I know survey’s are old news but I always like doing the end of the year one just to look back and see how this year really went.

1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before? Went to Montreal and Madison, WI. Was broken up with. Spent Christmas in LA. Stayed at a cabin in Big Bear. Went to Ft Myers, FL. Started doing storytelling.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? No and no.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No I don’t think so.

4. Did anyone close to you die? no

5. What countries did you visit? us and canada

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016? A healthy relationship and tour more for comedy.

7. What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? My birthday was really awesome, that’s about it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a sketch featured on whohaha, doing a show with Demetri Martin, getting into two festivals.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not having enough money, heartbreak because men are garbage.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope, just basic cold sickness.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Trips

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My parents, my roommate, the majority of my friends in LA and Chicago.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Some piece of shit dude that you know we all hope just gets hit by a car.

14. Where did most of your money go? Rent, alcohol probably haha

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I stayed in a hotel one night that was fun and Big Bear, also going to a party in Montreal.

16. What song will always remind you of 2016? Mostly all Nicki Minaj, The Chainsmokers –
Closer, Tegan and Sara’s Heartthrob album, Katy Perry’s “Part of Me,” Alanis’s “You Oughta Know.”

17. Compared to this time last year:
happier or sadder? Sadder/Angrier.
Older or wiser? Wiser
Thinner or Fatter? Thinner.
Richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Traveleddd.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Cared, haha.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent it in LA with my parents.

21. How will you be spending New Years Eve? Do not know.

22. Did you fall in love in 2016? I was but I don’t really think it’s real.

23. How many one-night stands? Well I hooked up with a dude for a month and it was just basically a huge month-long one night stand.

24. What was your favorite TV program? RuPaul’s Drag Race, Stranger Things, American Horror Story, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, SNL,, Orphan Black, Shameless,

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Yes, one person I loathe.

26. What was the best book you read? I have to say I didn’t really read much which is sad but David Spade’s autobio was fun.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? The Chainsmokers and Tegan and Sara

28. What did you want and get? So many great friends, a job with benefits,

29. What did you want and not get? To be loved back by someone that cared, instead it was just a person that did not give a shit. Also more stand up shows.

30. What was your favorite film(s) of this year? POPSTAR

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to a 90’s dance party at a club with all of my best friends and my boyfriend at the time who was nice then but then turned into a monster, it was so much fun.

32. What would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More stand up shows, also you know love haha but it probably doesn’t exist.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016? skinny high-wasted jeans and crop tops cuz I’m fit now whuuuuuut, boots, workout clothes, hoodies.

34. What kept you sane? My family, friends, and going to the gym.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? James Franco.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? THE ELECTION DUH

37. Who did (do) you miss? MY CAT.

38. Who was the best new person/ people you met? I met a lot of new friends in LA that we bonded almost immediately and became good friends.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016: Don’t trust anyone, everyone is out for themselves, just do your own thing and fuck everyone else. Love isn’t real.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: basically all of “One Hand in my Pocket” by Alanis

How about you guys? How was your 2016? Do this survey and post a link below so I can read your results!

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Love what you do.

Hey guys, the year is almost over, how the hell did it happen? Who knows. Anyway, this year has been tumultuous — to describe it in one word. Lots of shit went down personally and just world-wise. Ultimately, you have to focus on the good and what makes you feel good, for me? It’s stand up comedy.

I’m not sure if you guys are familiar with my like “story” but I’m from NJ and I moved to LA to do comedy. I started out doing improv, did some in NYC, but right now I’m focusing on stand up and writing online sketches. Sure I could’ve started in NYC…but I’m dumb and also I just wanted to live somewhere warm, so I mainly started out here. It can be a struggle booking shows, writing material, and just being consistent but man, do I love it.

Everyone has a different journey to happiness. Sometimes are family driven — they work a boring day job but have a family and spend all the time in the world with them. Some are career driven — they just focus on work. Some are just life experience driven — they work but spend their money on doing stuff like traveling and seeing the world. And, some people are just extremely lucky and are all three. I think no matter how much I want to find love (I mean doesn’t anyone?) I am a see-saw in between the life experience and career driven. I love traveling but also, I love stand up comedy.

There has been many a night where I feel shitty and sad because I’ve been working all day and I don’t want to go to an open mic or a show I’m on, I’m just feeling unfunny and not good, but I push myself. I push myself to go and then 9 times out of 10 I feel 1000% times better for doing so. Why? Because man, nothing feels better than just making a room laugh. You write something that’s all you, you perform it, and people love it and laugh at it — it’s like seeing your baby thrive, you know? Jokes are my babies. I struggle a lot at mics and with the idea of me losing my funny but it is like the universe knows when you feel shitty because right when you’re super low you have a killer set and feel like you’re on top of the world again.

It’s not even just that, sometimes it’s just surrounding yourself with great people that do what you do. I have other friends that don’t do comedy and they’re great and I love them, but sometimes you just need your comedy friends. It’s such a relief to just riff about comedy specials or discuss ideas for bits with people that just fucking know and relate to it. We’re the same type of person, we don’t have to explain why we like comedy or why we started doing it — we just know and get each other. We don’t even have to be talking about comedy all the time (but honestly we do pretty frequently) but just being with each other it is a certain level of comfort. We get each other without ever announcing it, you know?

I feel very, very lucky to be apart of such a cool community like this. In a way, I have automatic built in friends. I just went on a hike with someone yesterday who I’ve never seen do a set but because we were both comics we were like “yeah of course we’ll hang and be friends” it is just like that sometimes.

In a way, I have no clue what it is like being a normal adult. I work a day job with some other comics, then at night I go to mics and shows up until 2am sometimes. I’ll write in between or have a night focused on that. But right now my life is comedy. Some days I wish it wasn’t, some days I wish I was fine settling in NJ with some dude and creating a family while at work at the hospital as a receptionist but man…how boring would that be? Sure I would definitely be saving money and I could be traveling more but is that what life fulfillment is supposed to be? Waiting on the next vacation after the next? I want something everyday that’ll excite me, that’ll motivate me. As much as it stresses me out, I love doing comedy. It makes me feel like I’m doing something with my life even though honestly I’m just telling poop jokes on stage. I guess some people have hobbies that make them happy in their daily lives, I have no time, it’s just comedy. And you know what? I don’t think I would have it any other way.

Your life is what you make of it, make sure you’re doing something with your life that you love and the happiness will just follow through.

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Stop Worrying!

A lot of times before I start a post on here I already have an idea of what to write but this time I skimmed some previous posts to see what I should focus on. From reading previous posts it looks a lot that I worry a lot — and I do. Whether it is worrying about ending something, the future, writer’s block, it is just constant worry. Constant worry of aging and what is to come, too. Re-reading all of them just makes me worried about myself and how much I worry! So, to balance it out, let’s talk about ways to not worry and not stress.

1. Be positive and optimistic – I know it can be incredibly hard especially when the bad stuff feels very bad. You have to look at what you have – your heath, a home, a roommate that you don’t start shit with, friends that care, parents that are the greatest and most supportive in the world – some people don’t have any of that. Start with that. I like to focus on my health and how much I love working out and how proud of myself I am for coming so far with that. I used to be lazy and it took a while to get fit, but now here I am. I used to work out a lot with my brother and I know he’d be pretty proud of me.

2. Distract yourself – See all those positive things you have? Use them to distract yourself! Go hang out with your friends, go for a run, call your mom! Well…maybe calling your mom will make you worry more, haha, but the others won’t! Have fun and live in the present. If you want to go trampolining today that won’t fuck up your future, if anything it’ll make you more happy for it.

3. Plan it out – If something really is worrying you that much that it’s eating away at you plan it out or talk to it head on. Sometimes this may make you worry more though but if it’s something like sorting out a schedule or something you could benefit from it. Just don’t get carried away and still try to think positive!

Those are some things you can do, what do you do to stop worrying?

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How to move on.

Still trying to figure that out for sure, it is very difficult to move on when you were happy even if the person who decided to end the relationship stops caring and possibly went about ending it in a very hurtful way. You still think about the memories and the good times. I’ve realized what kind of person I am for sure after this, I always thought I was negative and angry, but with the consistent thoughts of good times and experiences shared, I have realized I am actually an optimistic person. Good to know for later, I suppose. Either way, it is hard to move on, I’ve read articles many say it can take half the time you were in the relationship so that’s funnn, but here are some steps to actively avoid sadness and find ways to forget him and move on.

  1. Reconnect with old friends and all of your friends – Sometimes when you re in a relationship you prefer to spend lots of alone time with the one you love. Makes sense. But you can fall out of touch with friends, decide to stay in instead of going to parties. Fortunately, when that person breaks your heart and you’re back to the drawing board it gives you a chance to party again. It may be weird at first, you may be scared and think maybe your friends don’t need you anymore but don’t think that, they’re going to be happy to have you back. They’re your friends for a reason and you are there friends for a reason too, if the tables were turned you would be there for them no doubt and here they are for you. Call some old friends, do some silly stuff, it may turn out you’re not the only one feeling alone and fun activities may actually help both of you.
  2. Be Active – Go outside, go to the gym, just dive into fitness again. Sometimes when you become a couple you do cute shit like hikes but tend to become lazy, decide to go out to eat a lot, skip work outs, well now that you’re single again there is no excuse. Exercising releases endorphins, boosts your mood, and you look great after. Sure you may still be sad on the inside, but look like you’re winning this breakup by getting fit while he just probably drinks beer and hangs with his pals, it’ll show people you’re better off without him and eventually you’ll realize the same.
  3. Force yourself to Date – You may not want to, it may be too soon, but sometimes tinder oddly does help. Even if you think they may not work and even if they don’t, it’s still nice to go out and meet a guy who may be interested in you just to make you remember hey there’s other guys out there that can care, there’s other guys out there that may be better and are interested in you. Just because this ended does not mean you will have to be alone and even if it takes a few months or more to find someone else at least you’re trying, at least you’re meeting people. Doesn’t hurt to try and who knows maybe they’re in the same boat as you.
  4. Focus Your Thoughts Elsewhere – It can be hard at the end of the night right before you go to bed to not think about those memories, but you need to force yourself. You need to realize you were alone before and you can do it again, you survived, it’s not the end of the world, people have dealt with much, much worse. So whenever you think about those memories or thoughts just push them out, focus your thoughts elsewhere. Reading a book before bedtime can help and work wonders, disappear in that world instead of disappearing into the past. Watch television, color in a coloring book, draw, knit, or even write — do NOT write about him or the past, that is wasting your time and energy, write about your day, keep a journal, or a funny story. Who knows you may find new talents because of this ending.
  5. Stay Positive – Sure this was a bad thing that happened but look at what you have, focus on the good. Do you have a job? Friends? A home? Yes! Some people don’t have any of that. Be grateful for what you have, be grateful for that ending it could have gotten worse. You could argue that he loved you and cared but if he did he wouldn’t have done that, right? Fate is a funny thing. It takes you on different roads as a test sometimes even if it’s not the right one. You experienced that, great, but hey he wasn’t right for you, if he was he would have acted differently. You have other people that care, you are still standing, you are better off. Be positive, be strong, be busy, and a better person will turn up eventually.

 

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On Endings.

Sometimes life doesn’t go your way, it’s all about finding that balance of searching for happiness and being content but also being productive and working towards your goals.

Right now let’s just say I am not the happiest. A lot of moments in life leave you feeling kind of alone and “What’s the point?” but you have to find that point you have to find that reason why you’re doing what you’re doing. You have to realize that there’s still time left.

I am a very stubborn person that, even though I don’t like to admit it, is very much lead with my emotions and even when I’m told to do something like move on and stuff I won’t because it feels better to do the other thing even though it’s wrong and even though it might make me feel worse after. I also lack patience and when people say “it’ll take time” I just don’t want to wait. I want to fix something that others will argue is unfixable or broken. Maybe because me being stubborn but also maybe because I hate quitting. I am not a quitter.

Sometimes you have to realize though quitting something isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes you just have to let go of things you love to make them better. There’s a reason you can’t do everything. To be super hippy dippy, there’s a reason flowers grow and are pretty and it has nothing to do with you, you know? Things exist and can be great without you. The problem is when you find that something and you think it’s great and it ends. Maybe you did not want it to end but sometimes you don’t have a choice.

Ultimately, with life sometimes you are not in control of making decisions and sometimes things end or things change even though you don’t want them to. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself and what you can control and the decisions you can make to make your life better. You can argue your life is not as good now because someone made a decision that you didn’t want, guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t go back in time, you can’t fix something if someone else doesn’t want to. The hardest thing is knowing what you know and how it will not help anything. No matter how hard you try no matter what you can do if something or someone doesn’t want what you want anymore you can’t push it. Magic isn’t real. You can’t wave a wand over problems and make them okay.

What can you do? Plan for the future. Plan on getting happy again or make decisions that you know will make you happy or at least busy enough where you’re not focused on being sad. Focus on the good, because I know it can be hard to find sometimes but good is out there. You might be feeling dark and not needed but believe me you are wanted and people like being around you, just be around again. Keep yourself busy, focus on work and accomplishing goals. When you focus on other things your brain becomes too busy for sad.

Life is tricky and whenever you think it’s going well it throws a wrench in your plans and you have to start from square one again. You can learn from those wrenches and get better or you can waste your time and cry about it. It might be a while for things to change and go back to you being content and happy but that doesn’t mean you won’t get there again. Time is the worst and the best because whenever you’re having fun you zoom through it but when you’re miserable it’s like walking through mud — takes forever, but it’s always there and in an odd way it will always help.

Also remember that the time wasn’t wasted. You may feel like it was now but eventually you’ll look back, appreciate the memories and events, and see that you’ve grown from it. Once again, it’s just that time thing that might take forever, but it’ll be okay.

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