Valentine’s Day Movies for the Bitter Singles.

Well it’s Valentine’s Day and while I much prefer February 15th to the 14th because, let’s be honest, half off candy is awesome! I’m not a fan because I’m a pessimist and never really had a nice Valentine’s Day. Even my friends are either hanging out with their boyfriends or gays, so once again, I will be flying solo. I’m sure I’m not the only one though! So I have decided to create a list of movies for the bitter singles like me to watch this Valentine’s Day. Here are some movies to watch if you’re single, bored, and have black heart like me!

There’s going to be some spoilers so I apologize in advanced if you haven’t seen any of these.

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – Let’s start it off sweet. Yes, typical. But so good typical. It’s not your average romantic movie. It’s funny and sad and just perfect. It may even warm up your cold, black heart even just a little bit. It shows the ups and downs of relationships and how perfectly imperfect they can be. I’m starting to sound mushy, so that’s my cue to move on to the next one.

2. American Psycho – And now for something completely different. What’s more romantic and sexy than watching a man run around naked after a woman with a chainsaw? That’s right nothing. The movie isn’t the best but it is filled with excellent eye candy courtesy of Christian Bale that any single woman can’t help but love. Who cares that he kills women, at least he’s really ridiculously good looking doing it.

3. Bedazzled – God, I love this movie. It’s terrible and yet arguably Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley’s best performances to date. A man that wishes for love and the devil keeps screwing him over. Isn’t that a metaphor for our lives? Except we don’t turn into drug lords or giant basketball players with small…brains. Still a great movie, I don’t care what anyone else says.

4. Scream – Everyone needs to watch a Drew Barrymore movie for Valentine’s Day, right? So even though she’s only in the beginning of this film, it’s still a Drew Barrymore film. Why not watch a film where two high schoolers are in lust and one of them plans a set of murders and plans to kill the other one on her mother’s death anniversary. How romantic.

5. Closer – And finally, let’s watch a movie about relationships where nobody is happy in the end. Four people intertwined in relationships, they become happy, but like all relationships they get messed up in the end and nobody’s happy. Natalie Portman walks through Times Square with Damien Rice blasting, new haircut, ready to move on to the next one. So if you want a relationship, this movie just proves, you might as well skip it for a little bit. If you think this movie is depressing, just read the play that it’s based off of, it’s a lot worse.

There’s my top five, a bit random, but awesome nonetheless. What about you guys? What are you going to watch on Valentine’s Day?

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