How to move on.

Still trying to figure that out for sure, it is very difficult to move on when you were happy even if the person who decided to end the relationship stops caring and possibly went about ending it in a very hurtful way. You still think about the memories and the good times. I’ve realized what kind of person I am for sure after this, I always thought I was negative and angry, but with the consistent thoughts of good times and experiences shared, I have realized I am actually an optimistic person. Good to know for later, I suppose. Either way, it is hard to move on, I’ve read articles many say it can take half the time you were in the relationship so that’s funnn, but here are some steps to actively avoid sadness and find ways to forget him and move on.

  1. Reconnect with old friends and all of your friends – Sometimes when you re in a relationship you prefer to spend lots of alone time with the one you love. Makes sense. But you can fall out of touch with friends, decide to stay in instead of going to parties. Fortunately, when that person breaks your heart and you’re back to the drawing board it gives you a chance to party again. It may be weird at first, you may be scared and think maybe your friends don’t need you anymore but don’t think that, they’re going to be happy to have you back. They’re your friends for a reason and you are there friends for a reason too, if the tables were turned you would be there for them no doubt and here they are for you. Call some old friends, do some silly stuff, it may turn out you’re not the only one feeling alone and fun activities may actually help both of you.
  2. Be Active – Go outside, go to the gym, just dive into fitness again. Sometimes when you become a couple you do cute shit like hikes but tend to become lazy, decide to go out to eat a lot, skip work outs, well now that you’re single again there is no excuse. Exercising releases endorphins, boosts your mood, and you look great after. Sure you may still be sad on the inside, but look like you’re winning this breakup by getting fit while he just probably drinks beer and hangs with his pals, it’ll show people you’re better off without him and eventually you’ll realize the same.
  3. Force yourself to Date – You may not want to, it may be too soon, but sometimes tinder oddly does help. Even if you think they may not work and even if they don’t, it’s still nice to go out and meet a guy who may be interested in you just to make you remember hey there’s other guys out there that can care, there’s other guys out there that may be better and are interested in you. Just because this ended does not mean you will have to be alone and even if it takes a few months or more to find someone else at least you’re trying, at least you’re meeting people. Doesn’t hurt to try and who knows maybe they’re in the same boat as you.
  4. Focus Your Thoughts Elsewhere – It can be hard at the end of the night right before you go to bed to not think about those memories, but you need to force yourself. You need to realize you were alone before and you can do it again, you survived, it’s not the end of the world, people have dealt with much, much worse. So whenever you think about those memories or thoughts just push them out, focus your thoughts elsewhere. Reading a book before bedtime can help and work wonders, disappear in that world instead of disappearing into the past. Watch television, color in a coloring book, draw, knit, or even write — do NOT write about him or the past, that is wasting your time and energy, write about your day, keep a journal, or a funny story. Who knows you may find new talents because of this ending.
  5. Stay Positive – Sure this was a bad thing that happened but look at what you have, focus on the good. Do you have a job? Friends? A home? Yes! Some people don’t have any of that. Be grateful for what you have, be grateful for that ending it could have gotten worse. You could argue that he loved you and cared but if he did he wouldn’t have done that, right? Fate is a funny thing. It takes you on different roads as a test sometimes even if it’s not the right one. You experienced that, great, but hey he wasn’t right for you, if he was he would have acted differently. You have other people that care, you are still standing, you are better off. Be positive, be strong, be busy, and a better person will turn up eventually.

 

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On Endings.

Sometimes life doesn’t go your way, it’s all about finding that balance of searching for happiness and being content but also being productive and working towards your goals.

Right now let’s just say I am not the happiest. A lot of moments in life leave you feeling kind of alone and “What’s the point?” but you have to find that point you have to find that reason why you’re doing what you’re doing. You have to realize that there’s still time left.

I am a very stubborn person that, even though I don’t like to admit it, is very much lead with my emotions and even when I’m told to do something like move on and stuff I won’t because it feels better to do the other thing even though it’s wrong and even though it might make me feel worse after. I also lack patience and when people say “it’ll take time” I just don’t want to wait. I want to fix something that others will argue is unfixable or broken. Maybe because me being stubborn but also maybe because I hate quitting. I am not a quitter.

Sometimes you have to realize though quitting something isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes you just have to let go of things you love to make them better. There’s a reason you can’t do everything. To be super hippy dippy, there’s a reason flowers grow and are pretty and it has nothing to do with you, you know? Things exist and can be great without you. The problem is when you find that something and you think it’s great and it ends. Maybe you did not want it to end but sometimes you don’t have a choice.

Ultimately, with life sometimes you are not in control of making decisions and sometimes things end or things change even though you don’t want them to. The only thing you can do is focus on yourself and what you can control and the decisions you can make to make your life better. You can argue your life is not as good now because someone made a decision that you didn’t want, guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t go back in time, you can’t fix something if someone else doesn’t want to. The hardest thing is knowing what you know and how it will not help anything. No matter how hard you try no matter what you can do if something or someone doesn’t want what you want anymore you can’t push it. Magic isn’t real. You can’t wave a wand over problems and make them okay.

What can you do? Plan for the future. Plan on getting happy again or make decisions that you know will make you happy or at least busy enough where you’re not focused on being sad. Focus on the good, because I know it can be hard to find sometimes but good is out there. You might be feeling dark and not needed but believe me you are wanted and people like being around you, just be around again. Keep yourself busy, focus on work and accomplishing goals. When you focus on other things your brain becomes too busy for sad.

Life is tricky and whenever you think it’s going well it throws a wrench in your plans and you have to start from square one again. You can learn from those wrenches and get better or you can waste your time and cry about it. It might be a while for things to change and go back to you being content and happy but that doesn’t mean you won’t get there again. Time is the worst and the best because whenever you’re having fun you zoom through it but when you’re miserable it’s like walking through mud — takes forever, but it’s always there and in an odd way it will always help.

Also remember that the time wasn’t wasted. You may feel like it was now but eventually you’ll look back, appreciate the memories and events, and see that you’ve grown from it. Once again, it’s just that time thing that might take forever, but it’ll be okay.

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#FuelYourAwesome Bob’s Red Mill Protein Powders Review!

Hey everyone! I have been on a bit of a smoothie and shake kit as of lately. I even just bought a Ninja! They’re my favorite post workout snack just because you can make them taste however you like but also still be healthy for you. That is why I was very excited to try Bob’s Red Mill protein powder, thanks to Fit Approach!

I received:
– Full Size of the Vanilla Protein Powder-
– 2 Sample Sizes of their Chocolate Protein Powder
– 2 Sample Sizes of their Protein and Fiber Powder
– 2 Sample Sizes of their Chai Protein Powder
– A Recipe booklet
– Shake bottle
I was very excited to dive into these products, I tried the Chai one almost immediately. I’ve had chocolate and vanilla protein powders before and wanted to try something different and man! How delicious! I made my own concoction with the Chai one, mixing it with kale, a frozen banana, and almond milk. Tasted delicious!
The first shake recipe I made from Bob’s Red Mill was the Peanut Butter Banana one, it’s super simple and I’ve made ones similar to it before — it’s kind of a good go-to shake that has sweetness but also some saltiness. Just ad 1/2 cup chocolate protein powder, 1 cup milk (I used almond milk), 1 banana (I used a frozen banana, frozen bananas are usually way better for shakes and smoothies, makes the consistency better and cooler), 1/2 cup ice cubes. Just combine them all in a blender and bam!
These protein powders are great, I am so excited to try out more recipes with them. They’re gluten free, vegan, have clean ingredients — meaning no chemicals! They’re all plant based proteins and filled with such great ingredients like chia seeds and psyllium. Chia seeds are great to boost energy and stamina while psyllium is great for fiber.
Overall, I really enjoyed these, definitely check them out you won’t be disappointed!

 

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On Time.

Time is probably the best and worst thing to exist. It’s great when it speeds up so you can do an activity you were planning on doing or seeing someone again that you were looking forward to seeing, but it is also the worst because of that.

I remember when I was younger, even in high school, things too FOREVER. I couldn’t wait to grow up and get out of there. High School is only four years. I have lived in Los Angeles for four years and it seems like I haven’t been here for that long at all. I wish we could go back in time to our younger selves to say “HEY STOP RUSHING THINGS, ENJOY THESE MOMENTS,” but let’s be honest, would we really listen to ourselves? Probably not. We can practically speed up time, but we can never rewind it.

Looking back on this year I have grown so much. If you look at May 2015 Kelly she was still pounding out comedy, but mostly having fun with it. Just goofing. Partying quite heavily. Probably because she was having more fun partying and not worrying about things then living life. She was growing good friends, but I mean a month prior her brother passed so she was still not 100%. May 2016 Kelly is much happier. She doesn’t party as much because  she doesn’t need to to have fun. I’ve always been into working out but now I do it almost everyday, I think maybe off 2 days a week if that, so a total of 5 days working out. She has a stable job that she enjoys, last year Kelly lost her job in March. She found love, last year Kelly did not even believe in it. It is so crazy how a year changes everything. I still have the same sense of humor, I’m still the same person, but I’m just happier. I still struggle with things like my career and staying happy but that’s just me. It’ll work out one day.

Ultimately though, enjoy the moments, don’t rush things even if they suck right now. Last year they weren’t that great but I can still pick out some awesome memories that I had last year. Sometimes when times are tough the good times are just way better, like diamonds in the rough almost. Things do get better, take time, as cheesy as this sounds, cherish every moment.

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Failing Goals.

This yeah was probably the first year I didn’t make any new years goals. Why? Because a few reasons, well, just two:
1. I have goals that I set all the time and a new year doesn’t make it any different.
2. I am enjoying my life right now.

For several years I have set goals on how many 5ks to do or to do longer ones. I’m not doing that this year. I love working out, well, maybe not love but I do enjoy it, but I’m not going to shell out money to do runs when I can be working on other things more important. I love running and working out on my lunch break or in the morning when I first wake up. Sure some days I will make a day of hiking. But am I going to say “Let’s do 5 5k’s in a year”? No. Because who knows if I’ll have time. If there’s an option to save my money and spend it on a submission to a comedy festival I’ll do that. I run at least 2 times a week no point paying to do it in a fancy way with color being thrown at me or jumping on obstacles. Sure that’s fun and sure I am always down to do it if I have time but it isn’t going to be the end of the world if I don’t do one of those this year.

I used to read all the time and last year was the first year probably since high school or more that I didn’t read at least 40-50 books a year. I did a paltry 13 books last year — that’s it — that’s crazy! But then I look back on the year I had and no, it’s not crazy because last year was crazy. Instead of reading I was busy writing or going out and doing mics, watching comedy, just absorbing as much comedy as I can to learn and get better. Even the books I read were the Martin Short autobio, Judd Apatow’s new book. I am not going to read a fiction book when I have the option to learn more about comedy. Sure it’s always great to take a break and zone out to some fiction books — I am a fan of doing that on airplanes, but there wasn’t much time.

I also have been focusing on having fun with friends. Last year I made a bunch of great friends, got a boyfriend, so I’ve been doing that. Living my life you know? Instead of just being stuck at home.When you’re busy focusing on being better at something you love, making a career out of it the little goals that you set just for fun aren’t important anymore. You realize what is more important. On your days off you don’t want to read, you want to hang out with your friends.

Sometimes the goals you set are important. Like I have new ones to do at least 25 mics a month and sometimes — like last month — I didn’t reach it. It’s not the end of the world, sometimes you need a break, sometimes it’s not worth it to push yourself. Life will go on, as long as don’t forget what matters, as long as you don’t give up you can take a break you can miss a day, just don’t some doing what you want to do.

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The year so far…

2016 is off to a pretty great start. While there are some things stressing me out I think it is because life can’t be completely perfect. The whole point of life is searching for happiness, right? Sure there are moments of happiness and levels of happiness. For instance, you’re happy when you find someone you love, you’re happy when you get a job you like, but then you’re even more happy, next level happy, when you have both.

I have a tendency of being more negative than positive so sometimes it is nice for me to write why I am happy and why I am excited for this year. Sometimes when you read everything — see it there in plain sight — you learn to appreciate it more. Now I know November is usually the month to be thankful for but I already am so so thankful for this year and I know it’s going to to be a great one. Here are some reasons why:
  1. My health – I feel like I’m the most fit as I have ever been which is a bit unusual because I have been working out a little less than usual. I also think though my sort of “content-ness” with my body actually made me lose more weight. Sometimes focusing too much on working out and eating right stresses you out and you end up not losing weight but then when you kind of stop caring and just do what you like — it works out more for you.
  2.  My job – I recently had a great nanny job. I’m not a big kid person, I even consider myself the opposite of that but these kids are great. Unfortunately it is only part time and I received the opportunity to start working at another job next week. It’s a work at home and full time job, so I feel I can get more work done and save on gas. I am pretty sad that I have to stop playing with these kids but you do have to grow up sometime, you know.
  3. My relationships – As you know, December was a bit of a bumming month, I did some silly stuff and almost ruined something with a person I love. Fortunately, I’m a pretty lucky person and we’re back together, better than ever. Not only just him, my boyfriend, but I just have a great group of friends. I live with one of my favorite people, my roommate, and get to spend time with a bunch of other of my favorite people at open mics and shows. I never get sick of them. Sometimes I am weird though and get paranoid that I’m bugging them too much and apologize but they’re usually just like “what? no you’re not stop it.”
I think I just worry that something bad is going to happen all of the time. I’m not used to being this happy. I don’t remember if I have ever been this happy. So I’m just waiting for this bridge to collapse or something. When you aren’t used to all these good things you just expect the worst all of the time. I have to kind of stop myself from thinking negative and just enjoy it. Enjoy life and be happy because this year is going to be the best yet.

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January Favorites

This month is flying by, can’t believe we’re already nearly a month into 2016. A month that is usually mediocre has been such a great one so far. Here are a few of my favorites of January.

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Jerrod Carmichael – Love at the Store

Sometimes when I’m struggling comedy writing-wise and need some inspiration I’ll watch a bunch of comedy specials. But, when I see one I love I watch it a bunch of times. It’s been a day and a half and I’ve watched this special three times. It’s so smart and also kind of “man that is so fucked up and true that it’s funny.” Definitely give it a watch, it’s awesome.

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NYX Extra Creamy Round Lipsticks

I just got a few of these from Target the other day and they’re awesome. They don’t dry out your lips, the color payoff is excellent, and it lasts a while. I drink a lot of water and expected the color to be rubbed off by the end of the night but instead at like 1am a girl complimented my lip color, pretty freaking awesome. I definitely plan on getting more.

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Running

I have to admit, I haven’t been to the gym in a few weeks. Mainly because I have a new job and I miss all my favorite classes and all the New Years resolution people annoy me. I still enjoy working out though and instead of gyming it I’ve been running. I do at least 3 miles each run. It doesn’t take too long, you still get a good workout, and spend time outside.

Those are a few of my favorites this month, what are yours?

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